How to get a new iPhone for Christmas

Starting weeks before the new iPhone is released, casually mention that your 3-year-plus-old original iPhone is trying to die. Be sure to mention this often enough that it isn't ignored but irregularly enough not to look devious.

Appear nonplussed when the new iPhone hits the shops and the masses scramble to buy them.

Occasionally mention that you hope your phone doesn't die completely anytime soon since an international move seems inevitable, meaning a new phone might have to be replaced soon thereafter.

Say you don't want any new electronic items until said move...and mean it.

On a sunny Sunday morning, take your children to the playground.

Duck into the public toilets.

Set your sun hat on the ledge behind a toilet.

Place phone on sun hat.

Arrange for gust of wind to whip through the toilet block, lifting your hat just enough at just the right angle to drop your phone into the toilet.

Voila! New iPhone for Christmas!